28 Feb 2011 Mom gives back to those who helped her

by Renee Hunter

Darbi Blencowe has been through some rough times but she’s a survivor.

She credits the people in her life – and not just family and friends. “People who didn’t even know me wanted me to succeed and not become another statistic,” she said.

Now, she wants to give back. “I can be one of those people that helped me and do for others what was done for me.”

In 1995, Darbi discovered she was pregnant. She was 15, scared and confused. How was she going to be a mother and also finish school?

Conway Cradle Care, with a mission to teen moms and their babies, had just opened. One of the original board members, Julie Adkisson, and her husband, Bill, were friends of Darbi’s parents. Julie steered Darbi to Cradle Care, and Nicole, born in November, was one of the daycare’s first clients. CCC cared for Darbi as well. She was expected to spend lunch hours with Nicole, help clean the daycare, attend parenting classes and make good grades.

When Darbi’s fiancé committed suicide, people stepped in to support Darbi through her loss. “I had never expected to be a single parent; it’s not a one-person job,” she said. “I had a support system that was the difference between success and failure.”

“Life was just hard,” she added. “There’s a point where you’re just like, ‘Am I ever going to get out of this?’”

Darbi lived with her parents while finishing high school and earning an associate degree from Pulaski Technical College. She had always wanted to work in television so, after two years at the University of Arkansas at Little Rock, she transferred to the University of Central Arkansas to study mass communications. At 21, she moved into an apartment complex owned by her parents and “paid” rent by mowing the lawn, picking up the trash and notifying her dad of needed repairs.

Darbi received public assistance for a while. “I can’t imagine anyone wanting to be on food stamps,” she said, citing the long lines at the food-stamp office and the looks she got from people at the grocery store.

After graduating cum laude, Darbi obtained a position in the programming department at Fox 16 Television. She also ran the camera and teleprompter for the evening news three nights a week, which was exciting at first.

While working at Fox, Darbi met Paul Blencowe through an online dating service. The two hit it off, but this time, Darbi took things slow. She and Paul emailed and telephoned for at least a month before meeting for the first time. Even then, Darbi didn‘t immediately introduce Paul to Nicole, who was 9. Paul and Darbi were married in October 2005. Paul adopted Nicole last year.

Eventually, Darbi realized that the job at Fox wasn’t working. It was keeping her away from Nicole and “I realized I wasn’t very corporate.” She left Fox for AETN, where she is a viewer services coordinator. “It’s the best place in the world,” she says of AETN. “I feel like my life is perfect; I have an awesome husband, an awesome kid, an amazing family and a good job.” 

Now, Darbi is focusing on giving back. Over a decade after graduating from the Cradle Care program, Darbi reconnected with the non-profit through the United Way of Central Arkansas. As a campaign coordinator, one of her jobs was to talk to the various United Way agencies. She and CCC Executive Director Diana Byrd renewed their acquaintance, and as a result, Darbi is CCC’s newest board member.

Darbi is also active in the Conway High School Parent Teacher Organization and volunteers in a variety of ways for the Humane Society of Faulkner County.

“Helping people makes me feel good,” she said.