31 Jul 2021 For the love of a child
By Dwain Hebda
In many ways, Julie Gorman and Phaylan Davis are very different people.
Gorman, a pharmacist who lives in Conway with her husband, Tim, sports a personality that matches the volume and manic energy of their two rambunctious boys. Davis, a single mother of one, lives in Vilonia and works as a teacher. Quieter by nature, she’s slower to put herself into the spotlight.
But in one way that is absolutely essential, the two women are of one accord – they love a little boy named Zayden. Davis’ son is her whole heart and the very breath of life itself. And, he’s the guardian angel for the vivacious Gorman who’s dedicated herself to battling a disease which has already complicated the 6-year-old’s existence.
It’s a relationship among the three that’s so powerful, the mere mention of it loosens the floodgates of emotion in the two mothers, now fast friends.
“Julie has been,” Davis began, the thorny words sticking and dragging their way out of her throat. “Basically, having gone through what we went through, the moment that we met her was when I needed someone more than ever. To know that there’s this wonderful little lady out there that just loves my little boy like her own and that her purpose and drive and passion is to help my little boy means the world.”
Gorman, her own composure tattering, added, “It’s very touching because I have healthy children and her child was not. And it was almost like – I don’t know. Like a little guilt, I guess. My children are healthy and this mom is going through such a tough time in her life. Just seeing Zayden and having my own children, who at that time were like three and six months or whatever, it was just an emotional thing for me.”
Love, it is said, makes you do funny things, things you’d never otherwise consider doing. For Davis, that means agreeing to interviews and sharing the intensely private journey of Zayden’s health. Born with neurofibromatosis (NF), a complex genetic disorder that causes tumors to grow throughout the body with the potential to affect almost every organ system, the boy’s challenges came early in life.
In year one, a tumor was discovered on his optic nerve, followed by another on the optic chiasm, where the optic nerves of both eyes intersect. Two weeks after his second birthday, Zayden began chemotherapy treatments that continued for a year. He’s also had 15 MRI scans and surgeries to date as a result of his condition.
“Life has not been very easy for him,” said his mother, quietly. “He doesn’t let it affect him, though. If you ever get the opportunity to meet him, you’d never know he’s been through a lick of that, ever. Oh my gosh, he is so full of life. I could cry just saying that.”
Gorman’s activities with the Children’s Tumor Foundation (CTF), a nonprofit that promotes awareness of the condition as well as raises funds for research, began with meeting her now-husband in 2010. Tim ran marathons as part of the Arkansas NF Endurance Team, which raised money and the organization’s profile.
Those events also set her on the path to ultimately meeting Zayden which inspired the former collegiate athlete to tackle an even bigger goal in 2016 – an Ironman triathlon – which would take 15 months of training. It was then that Lesley Oslica, president of the Arkansas CTF chapter, made a suggestion that would change Gorman’s life and drive the impact of the disease home as never before.
“Lesley asked me, ‘Hey, would you like for Zayden to be your ambassador for your training?’” Gorman said. “An ambassador is someone that they assign to you, for lack of a better word, as someone that you do your miles for. Your running, your biking, whatever you’re doing, you do it in honor of that person.
“When I met Zayden and his mom, basically the real connection was made then. The official word is ‘ambassador,’ but what we really call them is, ‘That is your hero.’ So, that’s how it started.”
As an ambassador, Zayden was Gorman’s mental poker, stoking her competitive fire and giving meaning to her training, which many athletes consider as tough or tougher than the race itself. Focusing on the little boy, the enormous challenge of the legendary triathlon paled in comparison.
“Race day was the fun day; [the real challenge] was the mental aspect that it took to train day-in and day-out, shift my family around for three sports with two-a-day workouts and still be a mom,” Gorman said. “The whole entire time I was training, Zayden was going through chemo for his optic nerve tumor caused by the neurofibromatosis.
“It became, ‘OK, if he can endure this and his family can endure this, then I can endure training for the next however many months, until I get on the start line.’”
Gorman completed her Ironman in 2017 in Florida, a crowning accomplishment for her personally, but just a warm-up for what she wanted to do for NF patients. After running in a local race benefiting the CTF in 2018, she took on race director duties for the I Know a Fighter 5K in 2019, raising $18,000.
She got a break in 2020 as everything shut down, emerging in 2021 with a new energy and a new challenge, Dancing With Our Stars. The annual CTF Arkansas benefit mimics the “Dancing With the Stars” television show, pairing contestants with a professional dance instructor. Gorman agreed to participate despite having zero dance experience.
“There is none of that in my past. None. I’m the opposite of a dancer. I don’t know what they’re going to do with me,” she said. “My teacher is Brian Earles, he’s in Little Rock. He’s got his work cut out for him, bless his heart.”
She laughs and then shrugs.
“I’m just passionate for the foundation and if I’m able to do it and they want me to do it, then I’m going to try to help. I want to step out of my comfort zone and do something different. It’s a challenge. I’m good with being pushed out of my limits. Dancing is just two minutes. I’ve done an Ironman; I can do anything for two minutes.”
Zayden is doing so well now you’d never know the path he’s walked.
“Whenever Julie does her events or running, it’s for my little boy and that means the world. She has her own kids and they don’t have NF, but she thinks of my little boy,” Davis said. “For a parent, there’s so many ‘what-ifs’ and you’re always trying to make the best of things even when life’s not always the best and you can’t change the course of things.
“To know there’s someone on your team fighting for your boy, fighting to raise money, fighting to find a cure, which is the only thing you hope for your child, you just can’t say anything nicer about a person than that.”
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