19 May 2016 Writer focuses on family

by Brenda McClain

“I don’t know how to water plants.”

“I’ve never washed dishes.”

Statements made proudly by a high school student.

Spending a recent Saturday with Ben and Paris Broyles’ sixth-grader, Charity, we talked about plans for the summer. “I’m saving my allowance to purchase a movie series.”

“How do you earn allowance,” I asked. Charity does laundry, cleans her bedroom and does dishes two nights a week. She also makes good grades and loves theatre. Charity is being taught skills to enable her to build a successful life.

Living in a society that tells us we should get what we want when we want it, delayed gratification is an invaluable skill. How do we even go about teaching our children life skills? There is help through a blog from the University of Arkansas Research and Extension Service. 

Dr. Brittney Schrick is assistant professor of family life for the Extension Service and posts new parenting guidelines every Friday. Her blog might just be your new best friend.

In a recent post titled “Kids Can…Do Chores,” Schrick asks, “Do you have a chore routine?”

Consistency and communication with parent and child is key. Assigning chores? Make sure they are developmentally and age-appropriate.

Does your child have the tools and knowledge to complete the task effectively? It may take several tries; patience is essential.

Consequences? Yes. They are as important as rewards or allowances.

To ensure chores are age-appropriate, the Cooperative Extension Service gives chores suggestions. Charts, magnet boards and apps will help manage assignments.

What will kids gain from helping around the house?

Confidence: When children are given age-appropriate responsibility, they flourish. Who doesn’t feel more confident when they set out to achieve something and they do it? Praise your child for “being a helper,” and they will begin to think of themselves in that way.

Self-efficiency: Feeling that you have the tools, knowledge and ability to achieve what you set out to do is a great boost to self-esteem and confidence.

Accomplishment: Seeing the completion of a job well done fosters a sense of pride and accomplishment.

Contribution: Feeling that they are contributing to the family and making everyone’s life easier is a wonderful goal. Making the chores about the entire family rather than the child will help everyone feel more connected.

Delayed gratification: In a world where they can typically get what they want within moments of wanting it, learning to work and wait is an invaluable skill.

Life-skills training: One of the major tasks parents are charged with is teaching their child to function independently. One of the main ways this is accomplished is by making sure your child knows how to do the things that will allow her/him to be a productive and competent member of society.

What will parents gain from having their kids help around the house?

Time: When more people help, keeping up with housework doesn’t take as long! It is important that parents understand that this may take a few weeks (or longer) to attain. Kids need reminding and guidance before the house will become a well-oiled machine, and responsibilities will need to be revised as children age and develop.

Structure and routine: Despite how much they may resist, children thrive on structure and routine. Young children, especially, do best when they know what to expect. If you are implementing a chore routine, expect some resistance, but they will come around if you are firm but gentle in your guidance and model the behavior you want from them.

Joy of confident children: Ultimately, kids who participate in the household will gain positive outcomes, and what parent doesn’t find pride, joy and satisfaction in watching their child succeed?