30 Sep 2025 The present parent

By Chrystal Johnston, Ph.D.

Children and adolescents undergo many emotional, behavioral and social changes as they grow that can greatly affect their daily life. At certain ages, tantrums, separation anxiety and mood swings are common and even expected. However, at other ages these same behaviors may be cause for greater concern and indicative of a need for additional support. Telling the difference can be incredibly difficult. In general, if concerning behaviors or moods last weeks or months, or if they interfere with your child’s daily life with family, friends, school or activities, then it may be time to consult a mental health professional.

If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. Studies show that 20% of children and adolescents have experienced a mental health disorder, half of them before age 14. The most common of these is anxiety, followed by depression and behavior problems. Adolescents with mental health concerns are more likely to engage in risk-taking behaviors, experience academic failure and have suicidal thoughts. Among 15- to 29-year-olds, suicide is the third leading cause of death.

Some warning signs and symptoms are sustained irritability; frequent worry or fear; complaints about frequent headaches or stomachaches with no known medical cause; academic struggles or sudden decline in grades; school refusal; loss of interest in things they used to enjoy; sleeping too much or too little; isolating themselves or avoiding social activities they once enjoyed; self-harm (e.g., cutting, burning skin) or suicidal thoughts; and risk-taking behaviors (e.g., alcohol/substance abuse, sexual behaviors).

Parents often struggle with finding ways to help their children, but addressing concerns in childhood can have long-lasting positive effects. Early intervention and support are directly linked to more positive outcomes and preventing more serious problems from developing. Mental health treatment, including therapy and medication services, can be supportive options for both you and your child. While a mental health professional can give recommendations specific to your child and their needs, on the right, I have shared some general guidelines and suggestions.

Make sure your child gets plenty of sleep: Sleep is often underestimated but is essential for optimal health in children and adolescents. Adequate sleep can improve attention and focus in class and reduce irritability throughout the day.

Provide nutritious foods: Children are notoriously picky eaters, however, providing nutrient dense foods is beneficial for their growth and development. Your child’s pediatrician can help determine the best nutritional plan based on their age, activity level and unique needs, including food aversions or preferences.

Validate their emotions: We all experience a wide range of emotions to varying degrees. This is especially true for children. They need guidance on how to identify their emotions and ways to appropriately deal with them. Children rarely learn to do this entirely on their own.

Differentiate between emotions and behaviors: Emotions aren’t inherently good or bad and it’s normal for children to experience the full range. However, behaviors can be problematic. So while it’s okay to feel angry or frustrated, it’s not okay to hit, scream or throw things. Talk to your child about the difference and discuss more appropriate ways they can cope with anger.

Listen to your chilD: Find the time to hear about their day, who their friends are, what they’re learning in school, their interests and their opinions on different topics. Children remember who listened to and supported them with the small stuff and that’s who they will turn to for the big stuff. Be that person.

If you, your child or someone you know is in crisis, support is available 24/7/365. Call or text 988 for free and confidential help. There is more information about this national Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988lifeline.org.