25 Aug 2012 The magic pink boxing gloves
by Sonja J. Keith
A special group of friends are showing their support for one another as well as others fighting breast cancer in a unique way — a pink pair of boxing gloves.
The idea originated with Sue Farris of Conway and Dian Bacon of Fayetteville, who were looking to show their support for fellow Hendrix alum Stacy Sells of Little Rock. Sue recalls that Stacy started a blog titled “Never Lose Spirit,” and one of her earliest entries included a comment that she was “going to fight the cancer with everything she had, and she could beat this thing,” which led to the idea for the boxing gloves.
“We ordered them and sent them to her to help in her fight and to show support,” Sue said.
Stacy was immediately “lifted” upon receiving the gloves.
“It took time to adjust to the reality of having cancer,” Stacy said. “And when the reality set in, the fear and uncertainty became all too consuming. It was such a sobering and scary time for me, feeling quite numb with little knowledge of what lay ahead.”
Little did Sue and Dian know that within five months, the gloves would be returned to Dian following her own diagnosis of breast cancer.
“Stacy called and said, ‘I know you gave them to me, but is it ok to send them to Dian,’” Sue said, adding that she thought that was a perfect idea.
In a letter to Dian, Stacy shared, “there are two significant moments in the cancer patient’s journey — the day you’re diagnosed and your final day of treatment. This is very true, even though I wait in great anticipation of my own final treatment.”
Stacy described another memorable day: “When the large package arrived on my front doorstep — the beautiful pink boxing gloves from [Stacy] and Sue — WOW! What a powerful gift to send for that vulnerable time in my life. The minute I opened the box, I immediately went into fighting mode, and I’ve stayed there ever since.
“These gloves were my emotional pick-me-up, my lucky charm, I’m sure of it. And here we are today, only a few months later, and this nasty beast has now invaded your own body.”
In giving the gloves to Dian, Stacy described the gloves as a “symbolic expression of courage.”
“And now I pass them along to Dian. This is her time to wrestle the alligator while wearing the magic pink boxing gloves,” she wrote. “Always remember two things: 1)The ‘Big C’ means COURAGE, and 2) I love you!”
An album accompanies the boxing gloves, giving each woman a place to record a message of hope to the recipients who follow. It represents a way to chronicle the journey of the pink boxing gloves. Each woman also signs the boxing gloves with her name, year she graduated and the date of diagnosis. In the album, each recipient is also to leave a photo with a brief biography.
The gloves have now made their way to Lisa Riley in Hot Springs. All four women attended Hendrix College at the same time.
“Thirty years ago I respected and admired these three strong women,” said Sue. “After watching each of them fight breast cancer and beat it, my respect and admiration of them is through the roof! They seemed to never doubt for a minute that breast cancer was not going to win, and they were so right!
“I hope that if I am ever faced with such a scary diagnosis, I will remember their courage, determination and positive attitudes and know that it will be okay.”
The plan is to show support for other “Hendrix sisters” who are fighting breast cancer by sharing the boxing gloves and album. “Who knows what we might build over time,” Stacy wrote. “My hope is a strong, intergenerational bond of Hendrix women, fighters and survivors of this invasive disease called breast cancer.”
Regardless of whether the four know the next person, they want to lend a hand and show support.
“Cancer touches so many people we know,” Sue said. “We would love for there to be a cure and for no one to ever be receiving the boxing gloves.”
For more information or to submit a name of someone to receive the boxing gloves, contact Pamela Owen at [email protected] or 501.450.1358.
“The Hendrix community has such a strong bond,” said Sue. “I hope that if these pink boxing gloves ever have to be mailed to other Hendrix sisters, they’ll know that many others are in their corner fighting right along with them.”
< p class="p3"> Stacy Sells
A native of Little Rock, Stacy was diagnosed Feb. 17, 2010, with inflammatory breast cancer. A 1982 graduate of Hendrix, she has two daughters and is a senior vice president at a communications firm.
“I knew something was wrong with me,” she said, explaining that she had issues with her right arm. She had no family history of breast cancer and two mammograms came back normal. “That’s the scary thing about IBC,” she said. “You can’t find it on a mammogram.” Her doctor did an ultrasound and a needle biopsy to detect the cancer.
Described as “the silent killer,” the highly aggressive IBC comes in sheets of cancer. Stacy described her “breast cancer nest” as seven centimeters wide and seven centimeters wide. “Mine had pretty much taken over my right breast and went to my lymph nodes,” she said. “It’s just very, very aggressive.”
The survival rate for IBC ranges from 25 percent to 30 percent — not a very encouraging prognosis, according to Stacy. “Fortunately, IBC is a very rare form of cancer — less than one percent of all breast cancers. Unfortunately for me, IBC is the cancer that invaded my body.”
In the days that followed, Stacy’s “phone exploded,” which prompted her to start a blog. “I didn’t want anyone but me to share information with my family and friends.”
Stacy’s treatment has included four months of chemotherapy, with oral chemotherapy planned for five years and 30 rounds of radiation. She has also had a bilateral mastectomy. Treatment has been successful. “With brilliant physicians, an army of loving family and friends, I found a fighting spirit inside of me determined to fight this cancer to the end.”
She is thankful for the support she has received, especially from friends like Sue and Dian. “What lovely friends they are,” she said. “They just don’t come any nicer.”
Stacy recalls the day a big box came in the mail — the pink boxing gloves. “There were these beautiful pink boxing gloves with a ‘fight’ message. They were a symbol of what I was going to do and beat the breast cancer.”
Stacy said the gloves immediately “lifted” her and ignited her fighting spirit. She kept them on her mantle throughout the fight, and they accompanied her to UAMS and hung from her bed following her surgery and recovery. Everyone on her treatment team knew about the gloves and the story behind them.
“My love affair with the magic pink boxing gloves began on that day they arrived on my doorstep. They truly inspired me to ‘put up my dukes’ and do whatever it might take to remain a survivor.”
And then Dian’s diagnosis. “She and Sue had been two of my soul sisters and now another one (had been diagnosed). I knew what I had to do.”
Stacy sent the gloves to Dian, and the idea of sharing them with others with breast cancer grew. “We want to make this a symbol of sisterhood among Hendrix women who come down with breast cancer.”
Each woman signs the gloves and adds her story to an album that accompanies them. “Who knows how long they will float around?”
“Wrestle the alligator, ladies! The fight can be won, and it is my hope that these magic boxing gloves, this memory album and our ongoing connection will provide more inspiration for the cancer journey ahead.”
Dian Baldwin Bacon
A 1980 graduate of Hendrix, Dian was diagnosed in July 2010 with infiltrating lobular carcinoma. She and her husband live in Fayetteville with their two children who were 12 and 14 at the time.
Dian had gone for a mammogram every year and nothing had shown up. In March 2010, she had a clinical breast exam, still nothing. In July of that year, she found a lump. “I felt something that wasn’t normal, a knot,” she said. “It was 4-1/2 centimeters at that point. It was pretty quick.”
With no family history of breast cancer, Dian was surprised by the discovery and diagnosis.
In her letter for the album, Dian wrote, “Upon hearing the news from the radiologist who performed the needle biopsy, I cried, called my husband to come home from work, called my best friend, and cried, called a breast cancer survivor-friend, and cried some more.”
Dian said reading Stacy’s blog helped prepare her for her own breast cancer. “It was pretty amazing how it would give me comfort,” she said. “It prepared me for it.”
Dian had a mastectomy and completed six rounds of chemotherapy. “I’ve got a great prognosis.”
In her letter in the album, Dian explained that she wanted her message to be of hope and help. “My hope for you is that your journey will be a growing time in your life, and that the things I’ve listed will help you in your battle.”
As she reflected on her journey, Dian made observations and suggestions:
Expect to cry during your fight, but also expect to laugh.
Involve your friends — They want and need to be a part of your journey. Have a brainstorming session with your close friends and a survivor-friend to figure out your primary needs.
You will receive lots of advice, both solicited and unsolicited. Don’t worry about disappointing people if you don’t follow their advice.
Take advantage of your diagnosis. Instead of feeling obligated to attend a meeting, or even a party, remember that you have the ultimate excuse not to.
If you know you are going to lose your hair, take an honest, fashionable friend with you to pick out your wig(s), preferably before your hair falls out. You will miss your hair, but it’s a chance to try a new style with a cute wig.
Yoga and meditation helped me relax. I wasn’t “into” that before.
Drink lots of water if you have chemo.
My Sunday school class was a source of strength, as well. By my sharing honestly with them, they were able to pray honestly for me.
For Dian, the boxing gloves are a symbol of the friendship and special bond that she shares with others she cares about.
“The amazing thing about my breast cancer journey is that it has brought new friends into my life and helped me rekindle old friendships, including my Hendrix friends,” Dian wrote. “My prayer for you is that you, too, will draw strength from your friends. You’re stronger than you think.”
Lisa Riley
A 1979 graduate of Hendrix, Lisa works for a business management software company. She lives in Hot Springs with her 16-year-old son, Nathan. Her husband suffers from Alzheimer’s and is in a residential care facility.
In November 2011, a routine mammogram revealed that Lisa had breast cancer — invasive ductal carcinoma. It is one of the most common forms of breast cancer. “It’s so, so important you get those mammograms on time,” she said. “If I had waited any longer, it could’ve been a lot worse.”
Lisa is a firm believer in mammograms and knows first-hand the importance of early detection. She reminds women that there are programs available that offer the exams at free or reduced cost.
“There is no history of breast cancer in my family — nobody. One in eight women will be diagnosed in their lifetime. Those are scary, scary statistics,” she said. “Just because you don’t have any risk factors doesn’t mean you won’t get it.”
Lisa recalls that it was after her third chemo treatment that a package arrived. “I was feeling really bad,” she said, explaining that she couldn’t eat, and it was challenging just to raise her head. Her son retrieved the package from the delivery person and opened it for his mom. “He looked at me and held up the gloves and said, ‘Mom, what is this?’ I started laughing immediately.”
When she looked at the gloves, she saw the names of two friends who had been in their own breast cancer battles — Stacy Sells and Dian Bacon. “I read the scrapbook and tears were rolling down my face,” she said, adding that the gesture meant she was not alone in her fight. “It brightened my day in one way and brightened my heart in another.”
At her next chemo treatment, Lisa wore the boxing gloves to the office and announced to the staff, “I’m kicking butt.” The doctors, staff and other patients were surprised by the gloves, but it brightened everyone’s day.
Today, Lisa has completed surgery and chemotherapy, with a promising prognosis. “I’m all done, and I have a great prognosis,” she said. “I’m cancer free.”
Looking back on her experience, Lisa describes “faith, family and friends” as most important for any cancer patient. She said cards and letters of support and simple gestures like providing food mean so much. “You’ll get your opportunity, and you will want to pay it back.”
Lisa still has the pink boxing gloves and hopes that there will not be someone to pass them on to. “I hope to have them forever,” she said. “If I don’t have to pass them on that would be OK. This is not a journey I would want anyone to have to go through.”
