24 Apr 2012 On the front line with food battles

by Kellie Dye

Think about this scenario: Mom is worried about her 4-year-old son. She thinks he is too thin for his age. He picks at his food during mealtimes, and he doesn’t like to try new foods. 

Because mom is concerned, she purchases a lot of high calorie snacks and drinks. She also cooks what she knows he will eat, such as chicken nuggets, ramen noodles and applesauce. 

Her son comes to expect these foods. Any variation with different foods leads to food battles, and soon his list of acceptable food narrows even more. Mom stops preparing vegetables because he refuses to try them. 

Fast forward a few years and the son who was once thin is now classified as being overweight. 

The food battles get worse, and the son begins sneaking and hiding food in his room.

Food battles with kids touch many of us. The scenario described may seem hopeless. Getting kids to eat better is challenging but never hopeless. 

There are steps you can take to prevent this scenario and steps you can take if the food battles have gotten out of hand.

Here are some strategies to help you avoid or reduce the food battles in your home:

Let go of your need to control your child’s eating. I know this is the hardest of all. Respect your child’s appetite or lack of appetite. They will eat eventually.

Your job as a parent is to provide healthy meals and snacks in a timely manner. It is the child’s job whether to eat and how much. The more you try to control, the worse it gets. 

Try not to engage in a battle at the dinner table. Meal times should be without anxiety and frustration. If it’s a place of anxiety, your child will eat even less or possibly too much. Ignore negative talk about the food being served.

Try to stick to a routine with meals and snacks about the same time each day.

Be patient and don’t give up. Set the example. That child may never eat vegetables in front of you, but if they see you eating vegetables they will be more likely to eat those vegetables one day. You should never stop eating vegetables or any healthy food just because you have a child who refuses those foods.

Have one food on the table that you know your child will eat. It may just be a piece of bread or a banana, but there should be a little something there that they will eat if nothing else.

Do NOT be a short order cook. Preparing a separate meal for that child only reinforces picky eating.

If you don’t want your child to eat it, don’t buy it. Your kitchen and pantry should be full of foods that you can say yes to. If you don’t want your child to drink soda, then don’t have it in the house. That’s not to say that there should never be any junk food in the house. Just be careful with buying foods that could potentially lead to more battles.    

Never bribe, punish or reward with food. Food should never be used in this manner. As parents we are far from perfect. We need to pick our battles. Food should be enjoyed and used for nourishment, not for battle.