28 Feb 2011 Finding security in God’s word
by Heather Kendrick
I’m standing in my normal place in the far back corner, getting a sip of water, when it happens. I hear my favorite song boom through the speakers and my heart starts racing when the instructor of my Zumba Fitness Class starts leading the dance.
Just like always, she asks for volunteers to come up front and join her. And just like always, I am DYING to go up there. I love this song. I love the dance. This is the one song where I know all the steps and can actually do most of them!
But just like always, I just can’t do it. I am stuck there in the back row…almost paralyzed in fear…too scared to go up front. Too nervous about making a fool of myself. Too concerned about what people would think. Too worried about my own insecurities to go up there and have fun.
There. I said it. That ugly “I” word that almost all of us struggle with but we have such a hard time talking about. Insecurity.
Insecurity in my life is a funny thing. It’s not consistent in one certain area of my life. Instead, it moves around and wreaks havoc here and there, sometimes where I least expect it. And when I work on conquering it in one area, it just seems to move over to another one.
For example, I’ll go through a time where I feel more insecure in public “life” – around people I don’t necessarily know. Then I will gain confidence in that area only to find that I now feel insecure around family and friends!
Insecurity is also an oxymoron with me sometimes. I host a television show for a living. My job is to meet and interview people. I’m also a teacher and public speaker. You would think I would have all kinds of confidence.
But truthfully, I am really only comfortable in front of a camera or a podium. Small talk and small social settings bring out all kinds of anxiety and nervousness in me, because I am insecure about myself in these situations. I am confident in the bigger group areas; but not in smaller ones. Weird, huh?
My insecurities so often hold me back from achieving great things for God and receiving great things from God.
I know I could serve Him more and better in my life if I would step out in faith more. I could reach out and love more people. I could open up and let more people love me.
I know without a doubt I could have much less conflict and much more peace in my marriage if I was more confident in myself. I would worry less about my abilities as a mother. And a daughter. And a sister. And just as a woman of God in general.
I heard a sermon recently where the pastor said, in a nutshell, that if Christians truly believed what the Bible said about us…that if we took to heart God’s promises and His truths about who we are as His children…there would be NO insecurity. Insecurity would not and could not exist!
Think about that…if we really wrapped our brains around the truths that are in the Bible, we would not be insecure at all. We couldn’t be!
Here are just a few of those truths we say we believe. But do we really believe them so much that we’ll allow them to penetrate our hearts deep enough to slay those deep-seated insecurities?
Jesus loved us so much that He died for us. “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. (1 John 3:16)”
God has a perfect plan for our lives. “I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)”
God hears our prayers. “He hears the prayers of the righteous. (Proverbs 15:29)”
We were created in God’s image. “God created man in His own image. (Genesis 1:27)”
God knows every single thing about us…He is “in the details.” “For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. (Psalm 139:13-16)”
We are God’s children. “We should be called Children of God. (1 John 3:1)”
God’s love for us is beyond anything we can even imagine. “How great is the love that Father has lavished on us! (1 John 3:1)”
Nothing can separate us from the love of God. “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38)”
And on and on! If we really and truly believe this, then how can we be insecure? How can we be anything but secure and confident in who God made us to be?
After I heard this, I had one of those “God moments” where I just knew God had me in the “classroom,” so to speak, to learn this lesson. And it didn’t take long for Him to give me some homework! Within two weeks I was given a BIG opportunity to go outside my comfort zone to work on a special project. It was a great opportunity but it left no room for any insecurities on my part. In the past I might have used my insecurity as an excuse to get out of it, but I’m happy to report I prayed it through and said yes!
And these days in Zumba class…when my favorite songs come on…guess who’s making her way to the front row?