27 Oct 2013 Disorders present challenge during holidays
by Kellie Dye
The holidays can often bring more stress and anxiety for many people. For those who have an eating disorder or are trying to recover from an eating disorder, this could be the most dreaded time of year.
It’s commonly known that the holidays are centered on food and people. The abundance of food, an overwhelming schedule, plus family dynamics bring about much higher levels of anxiety. Unfortunately the tools that people with eating disorders rely on to manage anxiety include starvation, bingeing, purging, restricting or over exercising. Unless you are an eating disorder therapist or someone in recovery from an eating disorder, it is almost impossible to understand. Spouses, family and friends understandably have a difficult time grasping what an eating disorder is and why someone has this disease.
Eating disorders are never about food. That may be the hardest part to understand. Eating disorders are very similar to addictions and how people rely on unhealthy behaviors to cope. It has nothing to do with how much someone weighs. Most people who have an eating disorder can look to be at a healthy weight or may even be overweight.
It is important to let go of the many myths and preconceptions of an eating disorder. For a better understanding, you can check out the following websites: something-fishy.org and nationaleatingdisorders.org.
Many of my clients with eating disorders will say that the holidays are their least favorite time of year. Here are some comments they have shared through the years regarding the holiday season:
“Food is out to get me.”
“People are looking and judging my eating.”
“I will do anything to avoid sitting down to dinner with everyone.”
“Comments made by my family only increase my anxiety.”
“I can’t stand to be surrounded by all of my trigger foods.”
“I feel like I weigh 1,000 pounds during the holidays.”
To make the holidays a bit easier, here are some suggestions that most people with an eating disorder would like for you to keep in mind:
Don’t make an issue of food eaten or not eaten.
Refrain from making the statement: “All you have to do is eat more.”
Be understanding and supportive, not judgmental.
Provide other holiday activities rather than only dinners and potlucks.
Allow that person to bring a dish of choice to the event.
Never pressure someone to eat. This makes eating disorders worse.
Refrain from talking about weight and diets.
Be patient and nurturing.
Encourage and praise but not in excess. Too much attention can be off-putting.
Emphasize the purpose of the holidays rather than the food.
Smaller gatherings can be more comfortable than large gatherings.
Let go of your expectations of how the holidays should go and offer kindness and acceptance.
Don’t expect to say or do everything right. Ask the person how you can help and comfort them.
Compassion is the very best holiday gift that you can give to someone with an eating disorder.
Kellie Dye, a registered and licensed dietitian, is the wellness coordinator at the Conway Regional Health and Fitness Center. Send your diet and nutrition questions to Kellie at [email protected]. Frequently asked and pertinent questions will be addressed in future articles in 501 LIFE.
