23 Jul 2013 Compassionate eating
by Kellie Dye
I’m not a perfect eater. I can and do at times overeat with the best of them.
When I do overeat, I don’t beat myself up. Instead, I choose to put a positive spin on the situation. Four large slices of pizza was too much for me, but gosh it sure was delicious. I enjoyed every bite!
I know that if I had said something berating and negative to myself about eating a lot of pizza, then I would most likely go back for a fifth piece.
Most people think that willpower and self-discipline are the keys to improving health. If you want to eat healthy, then you must avoid certain foods and you must restrict your eating in some way. Ask anyone what it means to eat healthy, and they will say, “Don’t eat so and so” or “Avoid white foods.” Diet rules such as these require willpower, and willpower involves focusing on what not to do.
Our brains tend to not do so well with the negatives of what not to do. If eating healthy is your goal because you want to lose weight and/or you want to improve your health, then your best bet is to practice compassion for yourself and compassion with your eating.
Compassion is a huge missing aspect of diet and weight loss plans. Most plans focus on deprivation, self-discipline and do’s and don’ts. Leaving compassion out of the picture is one of the many reasons why diets don’t work.
Why is compassion for yourself so important? People who practice compassion for themselves as they do for others tend to be happier and more optimistic. We tend to have much compassion for others, yet we have none directed toward ourselves. Having compassion for yourself isn’t about being self-indulgent or selfish. It’s about giving yourself a break and accepting that you are not perfect. Self-compassion is the opposite of self-criticism. Research shows that being hard on yourself or criticizing yourself can lead to negative behaviors such as overeating or overindulging in other unhealthy behaviors.
The less compassionate you are toward yourself combined with overly restrictive eating leads to emotional overeating. If you want to get a grip on your tendency to overeat emotionally, then you need to look inward. There is no diet plan in the world that will remedy emotional overeating. If you want to improve your eating, move toward flexibility rather than restrictive eating. Restrictive eating is unrealistic and leads to emotional eating. If you must comfort yourself, comfort yourself with words instead of food.
To be more compassionate with yourself takes practice. The first step is talking to yourself as you would someone you care about. If your best friend ate four cookies instead of the one cookie that she planned to eat, would you berate her and call her a failure? Of course you wouldn’t. You would most likely tell her that it’s OK and it’s not the end of the world. Try this on yourself the next time you overindulge.
Be kind to yourself, and give yourself a break. And when you do occasionally overindulge (and you will), don’t beat yourself up. In the long run, the more you put self-compassion into practice, the less likely you will be to overindulge.
Kellie Dye, a registered and licensed dietitian, is the wellness coordinator at the Conway Regional Health and Fitness Center. Send your diet and nutrition questions to Kellie at [email protected]. Frequently asked and pertinent questions will be addressed in future articles in 501 LIFE.
