30 Apr 2024 501Der Women 2024: The woman behind the cape
By Laurie Green
There have been many times in my life that I’ve allowed myself the undeserved honor of letting others think I had it all together when it comes to motherhood. Being a bonus mom of three along with having two sets of twins, I’ve been dubbed a Wonder Woman of sorts a time or two. And while I’ve enjoyed the accolades, the truth is the woman I am when I slip out of that costume and step into my own authentic self is much more of a hero. There is so much power in simply being authentic with others.
I’ve said it many times before, but being a mom is hard. Each season truly has its own share of struggle and beauty (for the most part) with maybe the tiny exception of those teenage years. Those seasons felt more like I’d taken a journey to the center of the earth. No matter how prepared I felt, it didn’t take long to realize I was in territory I’d never experienced and I often felt lost, afraid and unprepared.
I’m halfway joking, but, y’all, those teenage years are tough. You’re navigating these little humans who are all the best and worst parts of you over all these hurdles of life. And at the same time, they’ve developed their own ideas and opinions and you’re no longer the center of their universe. It’s hard, but it’s worth the effort because soon you enter that next season of parenting adults.
This is where I’m at in my current season of raising kids. From this vantage point, I’m able to look back and see how beautiful this whole journey has been. Yes, it is full of twists and turns, bumpy paths that I shouldn’t have taken, and I’m perhaps a bit more worn and torn, but there is also so much beauty, grace and growth from where I’m standing.
I recently asked a group of close female friends what was the best and what was the most difficult part of having adult children. It was pretty unanimous across the board that getting to be your adult child’s friend and watching them be their own individuals is absolutely amazing. However, we all similarly agreed that one of the hardest parts is learning how to be there, but not necessarily having control over their decisions. Especially when it feels like you’re watching a train wreck about to happen, and your advice and opinions are the last thing your child wants to hear.
Over the years, my children have learned to call and quickly add how they just need to vent. They don’t need my advice, they just need a safe place to dump all the baggage they are carrying, and I’m honored to be that safe place to unload. I’d like to say some profound wisdom that I could wrap this all up with, but I’ll leave you with this.
Today I saw my 79-year-old mom reading a book called “People Can’t Drive You Crazy If You Don’t Give Them The Keys.” She had so many pages underlined and highlighted that it looked more like a coloring book than a paperback. I realized at that moment, she’s in a season of parenting that I’ve yet to have even imagined and she was reading that book to help navigate relationships with us … her adult children, LOL. We laughed and she reminded me that, at the end of the day, all we can do is make peace with the past, allow grace in the growing and successfully learn to give it all to God and go to sleep.
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- How’d you do it? - March 10, 2024